I never thought it was humanly possible--but I think I have finally become "real." Anyone who has read the children's classic "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Marjorie Williams knows the kind of "real" to which I refer. Just like in the book--it hasn't happened all at once. It feels like it has taken forever--so that qualifies as a long, long time. It didn't happen to the Generation 1 version that was easily broken--it took being broken over and over again--so that I was willing to be broken. It hasn't happened to my former self, the Generation 1 version that had sharp edges. The edges had to be worn away--before I could become real. Time, Elijah House and KJ will wear your edges away. It certainly didn't happen to the version of myself that had to be carefully kept--now I am hardly kept at all. Luckily I was able to become real without having all my hair loved off--although I do feel kind of "naked" a lot of the time. (wonder if the velveteen rabbit felt naked?) My eyes are a little popped out and I am loose in the joints and shabby--and (WOO HOO) I don't care about that because now that I am real--I not only can't be ugly--but I am beautiful, maybe not to everyone, but I KNOW with all that I am that I am beautful. (and if you don't see that then I guess you don't understand...yet!)
When I was in college a friend (who at the time was my nearest and dearest) gave me a copy of "the Velveteen Rabbit." I wonder if she knew that one day I would finally achieve "real-ness" or if she just hoped that I might make an effort to try. It doesn't really matter I suppose. I have arrived. (but by no means have I reached my destination. This is just a stop on the trip I suppose) I am real. I am loved. I can give love. I can recieve love. I am beautiful--and no one can tell me any differently. :)
